Unfortunately, a crime was about to be committed but at the moment
Lesley was unaware of the impending(即将发生的,迫近的) event, which
would affect her life so drastically(极端地,彻底地) for the next two
For the moment at least, her holiday at the cottage had been ideal. She
had spend many idle hours relaxing on the deck, reading, eating a
sandwich when she was hungry and in the evening watching the sky turn
from brilliant orange to peach and finally to pale purple, eventually
the light becoming dim. It was about this time that the mist would begin
to rise from the cool water hiding in the dense forest that
hugged(环绕,拥抱) the shoreline. Late evening dew glistened on every
bush and soon the loon’s(潜鸟) call would resound across the water. She
decided to take one last dip in the lake. As the cool night air touched
her arms, she gave a little shiver and decided in was time to move
The ideas here in presented stem, for the most part, from my
day-to-day clinical work with patients as they struggled to avoid
or to gain ever greater levels of maturity.
This was to be her last evening alone as Jeff, her former mate, would be
returning Zac to her early in the morning. As the case in many marriages
these days, problems had arisen between Lesley and Jeff, but they did
not extend to Zac. He was a good kid, just entering kindergarten. The
couple had come to a mutual agreement, as dictated by the legal
custody(保管,监管) agreement. It stated the each parent would share
Zac’s care every second weekend and this had been her weekend to be
Consequently, this book contains portions of many actual case
histories. Confidentiality is essential to psychiatric practice,
and all case descriptions, therefore, have been altered in name and in
other particulars so as to preserve the anonymity of my patients
without distorting the essential reality of our experience with each
js金沙官网登入a。Jeff was an architect, which a high profile reputation, who worked in
downtown Toronto, a partner in a private corporation which mostly did
consultant work for the university. Lesley’s company had been hired to
advertise the new science complex in order to raise corporate money for
the proposed building. She liked her work and she harbored a secret
ambition to manager her division of the company some day.
It makes me feel painful to think that she has to work 12 hours a day
and seven days a
1、– Ben, would you like to play football with us?- ______,
but I have to wash the dishes first.
There may, however, be some distortion by virtue of the brevity of the
case presentations. Psychotherapy is seldom a brief process, but since I
have, of necessity, focused on the highlights of a case, the
reader may be left with the impression that the process is one of
drama and clarity. The drama is real and clarity may eventually be
achieved, but it should be remembered that in the interest of
readability, accounts of the lengthy periods of confusion and
frustration inherent in most therapy have been omitted from these case
After a whirlwind courtship(求爱,热恋) and a fairytale wedding the
couple had settled down to and urban lifestyle. However, after three
years and one child the dreamlike marriage came smashing down. One
disadvantage of being young and ambitious(有抱负的) was that both of
them needed to devote untold hours to their busy schedules. As a result
of these late hours, Lesley became suspicious of Jeff’s after hours
activities. She accused him of make her part of a love triangle. The
whole miserable scene was to set the proceeding for an ugly divorce in
It pains me to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days
A：No, I can’t
I would also like to apologize for continually referring
to God in the traditionally masculine image, but I have done so in
the interest of simplicity rather than from any rigidly held concept as
Daydreaming about those earlier days would not help tonight. So with a
shrug of her shoulders she tackled the advertising assignment she needed
to complete. Tomorrow would be a busy day with Zac arriving home.
It will be our aim to ensure proper health care for each and everyone of
the Chinese people
B：I don’t want to
As a psychiatrist, I feel it is important to mention at the outset two
assumptions that underlie this book. One is that I make no
distinction between the mind and the spirit, and therefore no
distinction between the process of achieving spiritual growth and
achieving mental growth. They are one and the same.
The next day, as the morning wore on, Lesley became more and more
agitated(烦燥), and her mood became apprehensive(忧虑的,不安的) when
Jeff did not appear. When noon hours arrived and he still had not
appeared, she started making some phone calls. None of their mutual
friends had either seen or talked with Jeff that day. Until today, Jeff
had always been very punctual about returning the boy at the appointed
time. Lesley felt a knot forming in her stomach as a crazy thought
persisted at the back of her mind. She was absolutely sure something was
Our aim is to ensure proper health care for all Chinese.
The other assumption is that this process is a complex, arduous and
lifelong task. Psychotherapy, if it is to provide substantial
assistance to the process of mental and spiritual growth, is not a
quick or simple procedure. I do not belong to any particular school
of psychiatry or psychotherapy; I am not simply a Freudian or Jungian
or Adlerian or behaviorist or gestaltist. I do not believe there
are any single easy answers. I believe that brief forms of
psychotherapy may be helpful and are not to be decried, but the help
they provide is inevitably superficial.
Jeff sat with his head bowed. He was undecided what to do. The domestic
arrangement with his former wife was proving to be awkward. He was
frustrated at being able to see his son only on weekends and felt he was
always making concession to accommodate(适应,迁就) Lesley’s work
schedule. Every meeting was turning into a competition for the boy’s
affection. His one desire was to take Zac away for good. The enormous
decision to undertake this plan appeared to be presenting itself. Today
he would depart for a conference in California. This appeared to be
marvelous opportunity to take the boy and leave the country for good. He
bet that he could pack sufficient baggage into his vehicle and then
disappear across the border, gaining entry the U.S.A He gave little
thought to whatsoever of the fact this act could lead to his conviction
if he was tracked down by the cops.
This book will help you master the basic elements of good writing
D：I’d love to
The journey of spiritual growth is a long one. I would like to thank
those of my patients who have given me the privilege of accompanying
them for major portions of their journey.
Meanwhile, for Lesley the nightmare continued to unfold as the reality
of the situation deepened. After 48 hours, the spokesman for the
district police department assured her they would investigate Zac’s
disappearance. Her faith that justice would be realized was faint. The
shock of the past two days’ events made her realize that possibly her
son would become one more statistic in the missing children file. The
police completed a preliminary survey after asking hundreds of detailed
questions. Hot lines proved fruitless.
This book will help you master the basics of good writing
For their journey has also been mine, and much of what
is presented here is what we have learned together. I would also like
to thank many of my teachers and colleagues. Principal among
them is my wife, Lily. She has been so giving that it is hardly
possible to distinguish her wisdom as a spouse, parent,
psychotherapist, and person from my own.
Meanwhile, over the next year there were countless visits and interviews
at the police station and her home. The police appeared to making no
progress in tracking Zac’s whereabouts. As the days passed, Lesley’s
frustration(挫败) mounted and she felt a sense of alarm. Eventually, she
decided to take the initiative in continuing the search and she began to
use well-established child fin agencies. At times, boosted by hopes, she
appeared to be on the right trail with a sense of disgust, but her hopes
were dashed at the final moment. These obstacles only made her more
determined not to quit or to abandon hope. After Zac’s picture was
circulated nationwide, telephone calls followed from strangers reporting
sightings of a Zac look alike. Month by month her plan evolved into a
campaign equal to a full-scale battle plan. She paid an exceedingly high
fee for specialized help, such as the services of an attorney. Lesley
became determined to target every major city where Jeff normally
contracted business. As the months slipped by, Lesley’s exhaustion
became noticeable in her eyes. Her cheeks became hollow pits. Most days
she felt as though she did not have an ounce of energy left because
proof of Zac’s existence seemed impossible to find.
The search of the forest that they conducted was entirely complete
2、－Nice to meet you. －_____
SECTION 1 Discipline
Another year passed and her hopes dimmed. Unexpectedly, late in August a
promising lead brought her to Los Angeles.
The search of the forest was complete
js金沙官网登入a。 A：Fine, thank you.
Problems and Pain
The interior of the bar was dark. Her quest to locate Jeff and Zac had
taken two years. She had pain private investigators in American currency
to help her locate her ex-husband. In her handbag she carried the
necessary proof that would identify her to the authorities if she was
successful in being able to bring Zac home again, to Canada. She had
been impatient for this moment to arrive for so long and yes now she
just wanted to secure her son with a minimum of fuss. Now, right on cue,
a tall stranger slipped into the bar and sat down. One glimpse told her
it was Jeff. He looked weary(疲劳的) and older but definitely familiar.
A chill ran up her spine(脊椎). Close to success, she refused to
concede(不情愿地承认) defeat. It was the time to remedy the enormous
sadness. This time she wanted a guarantee of success. She stared
straight ahead with vacant look, trying to grasp the important moment.
Vivid scenes, from the past two years’ search, flashed through her mind.
Whenever anyone telephoned her to ask her for help with their homework
she always obliged right away.
B：How are you?
Life is difficult.
js金沙官网登入 ，The following day, happily for Lesley, the headline of the local paper
read, “Father turns over child, Mother slams system.”
She immediately obliged anyone who telephoned for help with homework.
C：Nice to meet you, too.
This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth
because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.Once we
truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and
accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is
accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.
Lesley and Zac’s subsequent life could now resume some form of normalcy,
however, the stress and strain of the past years would always remain as
a part of this renewed relationship in the memory.
Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they
moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the
enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties
as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy.
They voice their belief, noisily or subtly, that their
difficulties represent a unique kind of affliction that should not
be and that has somehow been especially visited upon them, or
else upon their families, their tribe, their class, their nation,
their race or even their species, and not upon others. I know
about this moaning because I have done my share.
3、— How do you do? Glad to meet you.– _________
js金沙官网登入a。Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them
or solve them? Do we want to teach our children to solve
A：Fine. How are you?
Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life’s
problems. Without discipline we can solve nothing…
B：How do you do? Glad to meet you, too.
The first of the “Four Noble Truths” which Buddha taught
was “Life is suffering.”
C：How are you? Thank you!
some dis~~ecan solve only some J~E?-~!~,IE-~.: With total discipline we
can solve alJ.l?r2fireifu.. What makes life difficult is that the
process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one.
Problems, depending upon their nature, evoke in us frustration or
grief or sadness or loneliness or guilt or regret or anger or fear or
anxiety or anguish or despair. These are uncomfortable feelings,
often very uncomfortable, often as painful as any kind of
physical pain, sometimes equaling the very worst kind of
D：Nice. How are you?
Indeed, it is because of the pain that events or
conflicts engender in us all that we call them problems. And since
life poses an endless series of problems, life is always difficult
and is full of pain as well as joy. Yet it is in this whole process of
meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are
the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure.
Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they
create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems
that we grow mentally and spiritually. When we desire to encourage the
growth of the human spirit, we challenge and encourage the human
capacity to solve problems, just as in school we deliberately
set problems for our children to solve.
It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems
that we learn. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Those things that
hurt, instruct.” It is for this reason that wise people learn
not to dread but actually to welcome problems and actually to
welcome the pain of problems.
4、– Thank you for inviting me.- _______
Most of us are not so wise. Fearing the pain involved, almost
all of us, to a greater or lesser degree, attempt to
avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping that they will go
away. We ignore them, forget them, pretend they do not exist.
We even take drugs to assist us in ignoring them, so that by deadening
ourselves to the pain we can forget the problems that cause
the pain. We attempt to skirt around problems rather than meet
them head on. We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer through
A：js金沙官网登入a。I really had a happy time.
This tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in
them is the primary basis of all human mental illness. Since most of
us have this tendency to a greater or lesser degree, most of us
are mentally ill to a greater or lesser degree, lacking complete mental
health. Some of us will go to quite extraordinary lengths to avoid
our problems and the suffering they cause, proceeding far afield
from all that is clearly good and sensible in order to try to
find an easy way out, building the most elaborate fantasies in
which to live, sometimes to the total exclusion of reality.
B：Oh, it’s too late.
js金沙官网登入a。In the succinctly elegant words of Carl Jung, “Neurosis is always
a substitute for legitimate suffering.”
C：Thank you for coming.
But the substitute itself ultimately becomes more painful than
the legitimate suffering it was designed to avoid. The neurosis
itself becomes the biggest problem. True to form, many will then
attempt to avoid this pain and this problem in
D：Oh, so slowly?
turn, building layer upon layer of neurosis. Fortunately, however, some
possess the courage to face their neuroses and begin usually with
the help of psychotherapy-to learn how to experience legitimate
In any case, when we avoid the legitimate suffering that results
from dealing with
5、— Hi, is Mary there, please?– _____
problems, we also avoid the growth that problems demand from us.
It is for this reason that in chronic mental illness we stop growing,
we become stuck. And without healing, the human spirit begins to
A：Hold on. I’ll get her.
Therefore let us inculcate in ourselves and in our children the means
of achieving mental and spiritual health. By this mean let us teach
ourselves and our children the necessity for suffering and the value
there of, the need to face problems directly and to experience the
pain involved. I have stated that discipline is the basic set of
tools we require to solve life’s problems. It will become clear
that these tools are techniques of suffering, means by which we
experience the pain of problems in such a way as to work them through
and solve them successfully, learning and growing in the process.
B：No, she isn’t here.
When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are
teaching them and ourselves how to suffer and also how to grow. What
are these tools, these techniques of suffering, these means of
experiencing the pain of problems constructively that I call
discipline? There are four: delaying of gratification, acceptance of
responsibility, dedication to truth, and balancing. As will be
evident, these are not complex tools whose application demands
C：Yes, she lives here.
To the contrary, they are simple tools, and almost all children are
adept in their use
D：Yes, what do you want?
by the age of ten. Yet presidents and kings will often forget to
use them, to their own downfall. The problem lies not in the
complexity of these tools but in the will to use them. For they are
tools with which pain is confronted rather than avoided, and if
one seeks to avoid legitimate suffering, then one will avoid the
use of these tools. Therefore, after analyzing each of these tools,
we shall in the next section examine
the will to use them, which is love.
1、 Every child has a dream of what they want to be, right? When
Renee Butts was little, her dream was to become a volunteer firefighter
because her father was one. Sadly, when she was 14, her father died and
she was never able to volunteer with him. Renee’s story doesn’t end
there, however, which is why I think of her as a true hero. She was
strong-minded and never gave up, which makes her a good firefighter.
Not too long ago a thirty-year-old financial analyst was
complaining to me over a period of months about her tendency
to procrastinate in her job. We had worked through her feelings
about her employers and how they related to feelings about authority
in general, and to her parents specifically. We had examined her
attitudes toward work and success and how these related to her
marriage, her sexual identity, her desire to compete with her
husband, and her fears of such competition. Yet despite all this
standard and painstaking psychoanalytic work, she continued to
procrastinate as much as ever.
Some days she must be ready to deal with any emergency, like
fighting a fire, dealing with a car accident or helping someone who’s
sick. Other days she is in the driver’s seat. Sometimes Renee works nine
to eleven days a month on 24-hour shifts. She also has a family to take
care of. Her husband is a firefighter, too.
Finally, one day, we dared to look at the obvious. “Do you like
cake?” I asked her. She replied that she did. “Which part of the
cake do you like better,” I went on, “the cake or the frosting?”
“Oh, the frosting!” she responded enthusiastically. “And how
do you eat a piece of cake?” I inquired, feeling that I must
be the most inane psychiatrist that ever lived. “I eat the frosting
first, of course,” she replied.
Renee remembers the first time she fought a fire. She was awoken
early in the morning by the alarm. She said she was very nervous but did
what she had to do.
From her cake-eating habits we went on to examine her work habits, and,
as was to be expected, discovered that on any given day she
would devote,the first hour to the more gratifying half of her work
and the remaining six hours getting
When I asked Renee what the best part of her job is, she replied,
“Helping people and saving their lives.” I think that shows signs of
being a true hero. She’s always glad to do anything for anyone in need.
With 140 people in her station, Renee is one of the only three women.
around to the objectionable remainder. I suggested that if she were to
force herself to accomplish the unpleasant part of her job during the
first hour, she would then be free to enjoy the other six. It
seemed to me, I said, that one hour of pain
I think she’s great. We could never live without people like her who
is glad to help others. Renee’s deed helps me believe that I can do
anything. I hope someday to be just like her: to wake up and help people
followed by six of pleasure was preferable to one hour
of pleasure followed by six of pain. She agreed, and, being
basically a person of strong will, she no longer procrastinates.
(1)、When her father died, Renee Butts decided to do what her father
Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and
pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting
and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with. It is the
only decent way to live.
This tool or process of scheduling is learned by most children
quite early in life, sometimes as early as age five.
For instance, occasionally a five-year-old when playing a
game with a companion will suggest that the companion take first
turn, so that the child might enjoy his or her turn later.
At age six children may start eating their cake first and the frosting
last. Throughout grammar school this early capacity to delay
gratification daily exercised, particularly through the performance of
homework. By the age of twelve some children are already able to
sit down on occasion without any parental prompting and complete
their homework before they watch television. By the age of fifteen or
sixteen such behavior
is expected of the adolescent and is considered normal. It becomes
clear to their educators at this age, however, that a substantial
number of adolescents fall far short of this norm. While many
have a well-developed capacity to delay
(2)、Renee’s husband is a driver.
gratification, some fifteen- or sixteen-year-olds seem to
have hardly developed this capacity at all; indeed, some seem even to
lack the capacity entirely. These are the problem students.
Despite average or better intelligence, their grades are
poor simply because they do not work. They skip classes or
skip school entirely on the whim of the moment. They are impulsive, and
their impulsiveness spills over into their social life as well. They
get into frequent fights, they become involved with drugs, they
begin to get in trouble with the police. Play now, pay later, is
their motto. So the psychologists and psychotherapists are called
in. But most of the time it seems too late.
These adolescents are resentful of any attempt to intervene in
their life style of impulsiveness, and even when this resentment
can be overcome by warmth and friendliness and a nonjudgmental
attitude on the part of the therapist, their impulsiveness is
often so severe that it precludes their participation in the process
of psychotherapy in any meaningful way. They miss their
appointments. They avoid all important and painful issues. So usually
the attempt at intervention
fails, and these children drop out of school, only to continue a
pattern of failure that frequently lands them in
disastrous marriages, in accidents, in psychiatric hospitals or in
(3)、The writer learns a lot from Renee.
Why is this? Why do a majority develop a capacity to delay gratification
while a substantial minority fail, often irretrievably, to develop
this capacity. The answer is not absolutely, scientifically
known. The role of genetic factors is unclear.
The variables cannot be sufficiently controlled for
scientific proof. But most of the signs rather clearly point to the
quality of parenting as the determinant.
(4)、The writer thinks Renee Butts is careful.
(5)、The best title for the passage is “A true Hero”.
2、 In the United States, it is not customary to telephone
someone very early in the morning. If you telephone him early in the
day, while he is shaving or having breakfast, the time of the call shows
that the matter is very important and requires immediate attention. The
same meaning is attached to telephone calls made after 11:00 pm. If
someone receives a call during sleeping hours, he assumes it’s a matter
of life or death. The time chosen for the call communicates its
importance.In social life, time plays a very important part. In the
U.S.A. guests tend to feel they are not highly regarded if the
invitation to a dinner party is extended only three or four days before
the party date. But it is not true in all countries. In other areas of
the world, it may be considered foolish to make an appointment too far
in advance because plans which are made for a date more than a week away
tend to be forgotten. The meaning of time differs in different parts of
the world. Thus, misunderstandings arise between people from different
cultures that treat time differently. Promptness is valued highly in
American life, for example. If people are not prompt, they may be
regarded as impolite or not fully responsible. In the U.S. no one would
think of keeping a business associate waiting for an hour, it would be
too impolite. A person, who is 5 minutes late, will say a few words of
explanation, though perhaps he will not complete the sentence.
(1)、What is the main idea of this passage? ________
A：It is not customary to telephone someone in the morning and in
sleeping hours in the U.S.
B：The role of time in social life over the world.
C：If people are late, they may be regarded as impolite or not
fully responsible in the U.S.
D：Not every country treats the concept of time as the same.
(2)、What does it mean in the passage if you call someone during his
or her sleeping hours? _______
A：A matter of work.
B：A matter of life or death.
C：You want to see him or her.
D：You want to make an appointment with him or her.
(3)、Which of the following time is proper if you want to make an
appointment with your friend in the U.S. A.?
A：at 7:00 am
B：at 4:00 pm
C：at the midnight
D：at 4 am
(4)、Which of the following statements is true according to the
A：In the U.S.A. guests tend to feel they are highly regarded if
the invitation to a dinner party is extended only three or four days
before the party date.
B：No misunderstandings arise between people from different
cultures about the concept of time.
C：It may be considered foolish to make an appointment well in
advance in the U.S.A..
D：Promptness is valued highly in American life.
(5)、From the passage we can safely infer that _______
A：it’s a matter of life or death if you call someone in day time.
B：the meaning of time differs in different parts of the world.
C：it makes no difference in the U.S. whether you are early or
late for a business party.
D：if a person is late for a date, he needn’t make some
1、I didn’t buy the apples; she gave them to me ______
2、We often get ______when people cut in line.
3、 Tom, what did you do with my documents? I have never seen such a
_____ and disorder!
4、Professor Smith promised to look _______my paper, that is,
to read it carefully before the thesis defense.
5、Will you_________ me a favor, please?
Mike always loves ships. When he was older, he said, “I’m going to
be a soldier.” But his eyes were not very ___1___, and he did not
Then he said, “I’m going to buy a small boat and I’m going around
the world.” But boats were very expensive, and Mike did not have enough
Last summer Mike found a swimming school near his house. The lessons
did not cost very ___3___, and Mike began going to the school at
every end of the week and having ___4___. Now he is a good
Last week a little boy said to him, “You’re a very good swimmer. How
do you learn to swim so well?”
“I’m not good at all,” Mike said and he smiled.”When I’m in the
water, I say to myself, there are___5___fishes behind me! Then I’m
very afraid, and I swim quickly.”
A：money B：good C：dangerous D：much
(1)、MR. Lin assigned too much homework today.
(2)、They have been working together for three months and have come
to know each other better.
(3)、They sold the old house yesterday.
(4)、Apples here like water and sunshine.